I’ve found the words if I could just stop thinking.
The room is spinning, I have got no choice.
Be patient, I am getting to the point.
- Spinning
, Jack’s Mannequin

Slow down. It’s spinning and I have no control over it. I have to let it spin, hold on for the next few weeks until I can reenter the life I want to live with the people I want to live it with. Too much has been lost this year, but much has been gained as well. The question is: what do I have to show institutions for these eight months of my life? Will they even care?

My head spins when I look too far ahead into a future that doesn’t exist. My mistakes in the present, the result of my poverty, make it hard to see a bright future ahead. Living in the now has meant living for momentary satisfaction, what I’ve needed to cope with life as it is right now. I can understand the plight of others, the mindset of living just to meet needs and feel secure for a day. With this understanding, I must move forward and work to gain the confidence and ambition that is needed to live this life successfully.